Friday, August 1, 2014 Av 5, 5774
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Simply Single

Monday, July 23, 2012
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Dear Miriam,

I'm a short, bald guy. To Jewish girls, I'm pretty sure this is akin to being a diseased leper. Will I ever find love?

Signed,
Simply Single

Dear Simply,

Without knowing you or anything (else) about you, I feel fairly confident in saying yes! As short and as bald as you may be, you obviously have a sense of humor, and that is a quality that many women find as attractive as any physical feature. But you have to find the right woman to appreciate all you have to offer.

Don't chase after tall supermodels or women who could be described by a certain three-letter Jewish stereotype. Be sure to play up your best qualities absolutely every time you go anywhere. Unlike some guys who will be considered gorgeous no matter what they're wearing or doing, you may need to spend a little more time making sure that you're dressed well, that you're outgoing and polite, and that you're not hiding behind any insecurities you may have about your appearance.

You also need to "put yourself out there" to meet women (and this is really true regardless of what you look like). Tell friends you're interested in being set up. Go to happy hours and events and flirt with the women you find attractive who also seem interested in you. Sign up for online dating sites. Please, please do not lie in your dating profile about your height or use a picture of yourself from when you had more hair. You're going to do best in dating by being open and honest about who you are and (see above) not hiding behind your insecurities.

Whenever I talk to women about dating and they mention height (or any specific physical trait) as a deal-breaker, I always urge them to reconsider the importance of something over which a potential mate has no control. I find it speaks really poorly of women in general that height is so often at the top of a list of requirements. Men, obviously, do this too, often about weight and/or age, and I think a lot more people could be a lot happier in their romantic lives if they put fewer restrictions on who they were willing to date. Still, if you meet someone and you're sure you're just right for each other, but she says she's not interested because you're too short, or too bald, or too whatever, then you can part ways feeling fairly confident that you wouldn't want to spend your life with someone who dismisses people that easily.

Finally, as important as it is to have a sense of humor, self-deprecating humor, especially coming from Jewish men of the short, bald variety, can seem like a parody, or worse, a turn-off. So save the "diseased leper" strain of comments until you've fallen in love with a girl who loves you for exactly who you are.

Be well,
Miriam

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