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Are You a Regifter?
Do we really need to make icons and heroes out of heartless and heedless misanthropes sentenced to prison for their acts against humanity, who stood idly by while watching the public get ripped off and robbed of their decency and savings?
No, not AIG. Not even Lehman Bros.
No, of course not.
We're talking "Seinfeld" today.
It's been 10 years since TV's most unsympathetic characters were sprung from jail -- just in time for a reunion.
Indeed, that's what they'll have: All the stars of the show are set to reunite on Larry David's "Curb Your Enthusiasm" later this year, when the HBO show -- madman of a genuine genius David also co-created "Seinfeld" -- begins a new season.
So, what do you think the "Seinfeld" characters have been doing -- not the stars themselves, some of whom we know have been basking in the dripping riches of their good fortune and fortunes -- since sprung from the slammer after serving a term for misanthropy -- and never missing an opportunity to laugh behind and in front of someone's back?
Let's talk about it.
Did George go on to become a cook specializing in kasha? Was he ever allowed on his parents' bed again?
All righty, sir: Did Elaine write the great American novel about her incarceration, only to have it shredded by her legendary author of a father?
And what did happen to Mr. Pitt? Was he ever able to find the right pair of white socks once he fired Elaine? Or did he wind up going barefoot in the following year's Macy's Thanksgiving day parade?
For that matter, was Jerry ever able to get a new career going addressing high school career conferences?
Did Kramer even realize he was in prison?
E-mail me; go ahead, don't be afraid. Just e-mail me, and let's all talk about whether rehab actually worked on these onetime masters of their domain.
What became of the unFab Four and their frenemies?
Best responses will be printed in a future "TV Turn-Ons"; those chosen will receive prizes associated with the "Seinfeld" legacy -- maybe a Season One DVD; or a delicious -- and possibly the last on the shelf -- chocolate bubka; maybe even a big salad (with appropriate credit to George, of course).
Anyone in need of a good coffee-table book?
And if you do get a prize, and have a party being thrown by your dentist and want to rewrap it ... Well, regifting is in the eyes of the beholder.
Oh, and by the way, the new Postmaster General of the U.S.?