The Last Word Week of Sept. 1, 2005


Arresting Developments
It’s time for Martha! (And TLW is not talking about the “doing time” variety.)
With her two shows set to premiere in the next two weeks — the syndicated “Martha,” Sept. 12; and NBC’s “The Apprentice: Martha Stewart,” Sept. 21 — TLW got a chance to hear the merry miscreant the other day.
(Not asked: Whether she ever considered “M. Clone” as a possible title for her version of the Trump “Apprentice.” Just some insider jesting.)
But lost in all the real conversation was the nugget (like fool’s gold, this item totally made up) that Martha thought it was bashert her leg-cuff monitor should be taken off just in time for the Jewish New Year, when atonement is a good thing.
In observance of her newfound freedom, Martha said that she will be teaching viewers how to make a dish inspired both by this special time of year and her feelings about the monitor she wore for so long.
And, now, the Martha Stewart recipe for:
Crap lock.

Really, Really, Uh, ‘Buried’
In saying kaddish for the Fischer family of “Six Feet Under” as they got wiped out in one of the more bizarre series finales of all time, TLW thought to himself: Well, there goes the TV family-reunion special.

Babbling Brooks: She Had It Coming!
Death be not proud — but a punchline? Okay! In an account by the New York Post, Mel Brooks, who recently lost his beloved Annie Bancroft, was approached by a woman at a restaurant who wanted to commiserate. While Brooks had lost his wife, this woman was still grieving over her late mother. “How old was she?” asked Brooks. “Ninety-six,” came the reply. “Well,” retorted the quintessential “Producer”: “She was asking for it.”

Fall From Grace? Saving Grace!
Madonna broke her hand, ribs and collar bone in that devastating fall from her horse. But not her wrist. Why? Kabbalah bracelet.



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