Tuesday, September 16, 2014 Elul 21, 5774

Miriam Steinberg-Egeth

Jewish Exponent Blogger

Dear Miriam,
If you go on one or two dates and you know you are not interested, how do you let them know? Ignoring? Texting? Calling? What?!?

Sincerely,

Rejecting Reasonably

Dear Rejecting,
Over the course of your dating lifetime, it's likely that you'll either be on the giving or receiving end of all of these unfortunate ways of ending a relationship before it's even gotten started. Really, there is no great way to tell someone you're not interested. Don't even think of saying, "It's not you, it's me." Sex and the City taught us that you better...

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Dear Miriam,
I'm living with a roommate, who I love, but the problem is her STUFF. It's everywhere, and there's a ton of it! I don't want to use the word hoarder, but we're getting there. How do I approach her gently, before we both get buried?

Signed,
Writing from Under a Pile of Clothes

Dear Pile,

The relationship with a roommate is a delicate one. Similar to how good fences make good neighbors, I'd say that good door-closing habits make good roommates.

If you want to approach her because you're worried about her well-being, you're...

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Dear Miriam,

I know it's conventional wisdom that the guy should pay on the first date, but I disagree - I think it should be split 50/50. That being said, I can't find a single guy or girl who agrees with me. Speaking from a logical, feminist, 21st century perspective, aren't I right?

Signed,
Equality Now

Dear Equality,

From a logical, practical (and yes, feminist) standpoint, you're totally right. Unfortunately, like everyone else you've already asked, I'm still going to advocate that the guy pays on the first date.  Also, before I go any...

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Dear Miriam,

I'm a short, bald guy. To Jewish girls, I'm pretty sure this is akin to being a diseased leper. Will I ever find love?

Signed,
Simply Single

Dear Simply,

Without knowing you or anything (else) about you, I feel fairly confident in saying yes! As short and as bald as you may be, you obviously have a sense of humor, and that is a quality that many women find as attractive as any physical feature. But you have to find the right woman to appreciate all you have to offer.

Don't chase after tall supermodels or women who...

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Dear Miriam,

I just got married, and I'm debating whether or not to change my last name. While I love my hubby, I also love my family, and my last name represents a lifetime of their love and my happiness. From an ease of paperwork / benefit of future children perspective, it clearly makes sense to change my name, but I get sad when I think of saying goodbye to such a big part of me. Also, I hate hyphens. What's a girl to do?

Signed,
Mrs. Something

Dear Mrs.,

If there were an easy answer to your question, I wouldn't have a hyphenated last...

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Profile

I am extremely proud to be a part of making the Philadelphia Jewish community the best it can be.

I am a co-founder of Minyan Tikvah (a lay-led prayer group in Center City Philadelphia that meets once a month for traditional egalitarian Shabbat services), a founder of a former matchmaking service for Jewish graduate students, a children’s book reviewer, a former elementary school teacher, a pretty decent cook and a mom to two beautiful children.

I spent years as the director of Hillel of Greater Philadelphia’s Jewish Graduate Student Network before resigning to spend more time with my family. My husband, Marc, likes to say that I knew more people within a week of moving to Philadelphia than he knew after six years here.

I’m originally from the tiny town of Fredonia, NY, and sometimes I still stare at the skyscrapers and marvel at how many Jews I know.

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